Amour et Douleur

This is the final day of the week for most of us, a day that brings the weekend to a slow death. A day so highly regarded it is in fact deemed the day of rest by Roman emperor Constantine the first who decreed this in 321 AD. A day so adored with religion you would think nothing wrong can go your way on this day, “The lord’s day” they call it in Greece. Sunday’s for me are probably my worst days if I’m being honest, and don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot of good that comes out of days like these. Be it family, or worship, or whatever it is you enjoy doing on your Sundays that make you happy, Sundays are usually associated with spiritual peace and a general serenity, and it is because of this I find it strange how it could mean the complete opposite to me. To me Sunday is a day of great discomfort, a day where I tend to sum up the whole week and question myself over certain things that took place in it. Only it never stops there, it goes further, deeper. This is a day where I o

Uni is a drag, and once again I have had the worst luck with the opposite sex. Seems like we’re back to square one, and for some reason I feel lower than I ever have this time. I feel dead inside, and it’s eating away every ounce of bliss and excitement the world has to offer. I’ve been drinking way more than I should of late, and I know I shouldn’t, but at this point anything to help ease the pain will do. A dysfunctional teen with dysfunctional thoughts around dysfunctional people, a recipe for everlasting melancholic feelings. A recipe made for the dark souls, for the broken. You know, the funniest thing about this whole thing is that I didn’t even ask for it this time. I was minding my own business before she said the things that would inevitably haunt me for years to come, and then longer. She did to me what I absolutely detest doing to others, she did the one thing she promised not to do and had the audacity to question my judgement and actually carry on further to say “I hope

You know sometimes I amaze myself. My entire exterior contradicts nearly everything my interior represents and most would probably never understand me or the type of person I am, and I’m completely okay with that because I struggle to answer that question myself, but one thing I do know for sure is that where there is love, there is a greater pain; and I am profoundly habituated to both. My family as a whole contributed to the madness that spirals round my head. To elaborate further I’ll start with my immediate family. My mother and father, both very different human beings, one could actually argue that they are in fact the complete opposite. But as the saying goes it turns out that opposites really do attract, but what was not mentioned is how they do not attract for so long and I guess that their separation was inevitable now that you think about it. I live in a home where false hope is encouraged and kept promises are a myth, where a series of bad decisions made by people who