The Present. - Excuse my slight tantrum towards the end.


Uni is a drag, and once again I have had the worst luck with the opposite sex. Seems like we’re back to square one, and for some reason I feel lower than I ever have this time. I feel dead inside, and it’s eating away every ounce of bliss and excitement the world has to offer. I’ve been drinking way more than I should of late, and I know I shouldn’t, but at this point anything to help ease the pain will do. A dysfunctional teen with dysfunctional thoughts around dysfunctional people, a recipe for everlasting melancholic feelings. A recipe made for the dark souls, for the broken. You know, the funniest thing about this whole thing is that I didn’t even ask for it this time. I was minding my own business before she said the things that would inevitably haunt me for years to come, and then longer. She did to me what I absolutely detest doing to others, she did the one thing she promised not to do and had the audacity to question my judgement and actually carry on further to say “I hope you aren’t too drunk and forget about this the next day”. I absolutely hate her kind and feel empathy for the many victims of such behavior on a daily basis because unlike most of you the good guys really do exist. The guys that give everything and more into someone and trust what they feel, the guys who appreciate the little things and treasure all your imperfections because that’s what makes you, you. The guy that pays attention to your beauty down to the most minute detail 24/7 and never hesitates to let you know, even when he says it a thousand times over he knows he hasn’t said it enough because to him your beauty is unmatchable and effortless. NEWS FLASH! We do exist, we may not be a large population, but a population nevertheless. We love for the benefit of the partner because we know it’s her happiness that keeps you going, it’s her smile that turns your grey skies blue, it’s her presence that makes your heart slow down and speed up all at the same time. 

People like me are the most giving yet the most damaged, I know scum that are only meant to be on the bottom of my shoe that get all the praise and glory. It’s a scary world we live in and it is only getting worse. You see I admire people like me a lot because although we have been broken countless times, our hearts still offer the most love when the time comes again. I respect my heart for that, but at the same time it is unbearable, it is painful. It’s funny how everyone always talks about a broken heart, but never truly tell you just how much it really hurts, how you actually feel an emptiness in your chest, and how it hurts when you breathe.

I wouldn’t wish a broken heart upon my worst enemy, because love is the strongest drug of them all, and I know what that does to people, I’ve seen too many suffer. As much as everyone wants to achieve their goals, get that dream job, get mad rich, I would give it all up in a heartbeat if it means I could spend the rest of my days with someone who loves me just as much as I do them (which has proven to be impossible of late). I would give it all up for someone I can love in every way possible, someone that can feel my heartbeat and align it with theirs; someone I can love with death being the only fear that stands between us.


Comments

  1. UnknownJuly 5, 2018 at 10:06 AM

    Every time I read your writing I think to myself, it’s funny how something so beautiful can come out of something so hurt and broken. Because I’m your sister you probably don’t really take in my praise but there’s something powerful about the way you share your story. We...the readers are left to the mercy of the way you perceive life and for a moment we get to peak at your soul completely naked.

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  2. Tara OmarJuly 10, 2019 at 6:31 PM

    La maladie du vih au cours des 3 dernières années et des douleurs difficiles à manger et la toux sont des cauchemars, en particulier la première année. À ce stade, le système immunitaire est sévèrement affaibli et le risque de contracter des infections opportunistes est beaucoup plus grand. Cependant, tous les séropositifs ne développeront pas le sida. J'ai commencé à prendre des antirétroviraux pour éviter une mort prématurée, mais je croyais en Dieu qui me guérirait un jour. En tant que brevet pour le VIH, nous vous conseillons de prendre des traitements antirétroviraux pour réduire nos chances de transmission du virus à d'autres personnes, il y a quelques semaines, je suis allé à la recherche sur Internet si je pouvais obtenir des informations sur le traitement du VIH par la phytothérapie. Sur ma recherche, j'ai vu le témoignage d'une personne qui avait été guérie du VIH et qui s'appelait Achima Abelard. et un autre brevet concernant le virus de l'herpès, Tasha Moore, qui a également témoigné au sujet de ce même homme, appelé le Dr Itua Herbal Center. J'ai été ému par le témoignage et je l'ai contacté par son adresse Email.drituaherbalcenter@gmail.com OU info@drituaherbalcenter.com. Nous avons bavardé et il m'a envoyé une bouteille de médicament à base de plantes. Je l'ai bu comme il me l'avait demandé. Après l'avoir bu, il me demande de passer un test pour savoir comment j'ai mis fin à ma vie de souffrance du brevet relatif au VIH, je suis guéri et exempt d'arv. Je lui suis toujours reconnaissant Drituaherbalcenter.Voici son numéro de contact: +2348149277967 ... Il m'assure qu'il peut guérir la maladie suivante..Vers, Cancer, Herpès Virus, Hpv, Pile, Erection faible, Maladie de Lyme, Epilepsie, Glaucome., Tumeur cérébrale, psoriasis, Cataractes, Dégénérescence maculaire, Maladie cardiovasculaire, Diarrhée chronique, Maladie pulmonaire. Augmentation de la prostate, Ostéoporose.Alzheimer,
    Démence. , Cancer de la vessie, Autisme, Cancer colorectal, Cancer du sein, Cancer du rein, Leucémie, Cancer du poumon, Maladie de Tay Tach, Lymphome non hodgkinien, Cancer de la peau, Lupus, Cancer utérin, Cancer de la prostate, Convulsions, Fibromyalgie, SLA, Hépatite, Cops, Parkinson Maladie génétique, Fibrodysplasie, Fibrodysplasie ossifiante progressive, Syndrome de toxicité de la fluoroquinolone, Accident vasculaire cérébral, HPV, Érection faible, Inflammation du foie et des reins, Infertilité masculine / féminine, Maladie intestinale, Maladie de Huntington, Diabète, Fibroïde.

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